Monday, 11 July 2016


I care a lot about a lot of things.  I am loyal to the point of self destruction, and try and see the good in everyone, attempting to bring it out sometimes at my own expense.

It is just who I am.

When I see someone making a mistake or going to do something that will harm them, I feel the need to step in and help.  Help them anyway I can to prevent them falling.

But just as I can't put my expectations on others I also can't save people, especially from themselves.

Sometimes I have to watch someone hit rock bottom even though it breaks my heart to do so because  they need to know what it feels like.  They need to feel the pain so they can build themselves from the ashes and learn the price and the lesson.

And that is what I have had to do recently and it is hard.  

I have taken a step back because they don't want my help and they don't see it as help.  And I suppose they are right who am I to say that what I think, believe or witness is correct for them?  I have no right.

In certain circumstances taking a step back is about self preservation and knowing my worth.  I can't help someone at the expense of myself especially if it goes unappreciated, unnoticed and most importantly because I am worth more.

I suppose what I am trying to say is it is ok to step back and watch that person free fall: sometimes there is no other option and that's ok.  It doesn't mean I don't care it just means it's not my job anymore.

And when all that feels too much find a cat because somehow a cat makes it that little bit easier and more bearable.

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